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Fit Me Journal December 6

business momlife strategy travel Dec 06, 2019

Balancing Act

 

I'm in Scottsdale, AZ for business and professional development training. I go to these events quarterly and see my business mentor Jason Phillips. I brought Georgia with me...and a babysitter named Kyra to help.    

 

I feel like I need to state the obvious for a minute. Because the above paragraph doesn't do it justice.  

 

Owning and running a full-time business with 2 kids and a little baby is really hard. Haha... You probably already guessed that.

Without Josh....it feels even more challenging.  

 

I have support- my mom...my friends. Without them I probably couldn't travel or do nearly as much...but I would be lying if I didn't say I felt stretched.

 

So I need to share the evolution of my thoughts....even in the last 20 min.

 

I'm tired...I'm hungry...Yesterday was a long travel day...Georgia had a long day...We had a long night...It's 5am right now.

 

Today will be busy and a lot of juggling. Sidenote- Georgia is exclusively breastfed and decided a few weeks ago she hates taking a bottle. I am on a tether to my room.

 

I feel guilty for giving her a hard day yesterday to travel for my work.  I feel guilty for having her hang with a babysitter all day rather than be with me. I feel guilty that I traveled away from my boys when their dad is so far away. I wonder if they know I miss them.

 

But one layer deeper, I feel like an ungrateful jerk for feeling professionally restrained by my beautiful kids.   

 

I love what I do... I love being a mom. They are compatible...but not in any obvious way. There is no instruction manual for this. I don't think men feel this same turmoil.

 

My strategy is to take it one day at a time and do my best to balance...to be everywhere...to juggle on the tight rope.  

 

And when balance doesn't feel right...when being everywhere is inadequate. My strategy changes. I have to "lean in" to one or the other without regret.   

 

Lean in to being a mom and accept that I'm leaving professional energy on the table. 

 

And other times... lean in to being a professional and know that my kids will see who I am and what I'm doing and one day understand that it has "mom  value"...not because I'm a mom...but because I'm me. 

 

 In either of those moments...there is no balance.   

 

Thanks for reading....this day and every day.   

 

Time for lots and lots of coffee.

Until tomorrow,

Christy

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